La raison d'être
HARPOON BY KING OF DESPAIR·WEDNESDAY, 7 MARCH 2018

Whilst in a charity shop I came across, in a box of remnants, a tiny ceramic king.Sadly looking off into the distance, contemplating the view with chin in hand, seated on his throne. It was crude and not executed with any finesse. I'd imagine it was made by an amateur ceramicist attending a ceramics evening class. It looked a bit like a piece from that Uig chess set that became quite famous and was reproduced over and over, being 12th Century in age and being decorative in the Norse manner. I'd imagine that was the inspiration. It also reminded me a little of a painting called 'The old king' by Georges Rouault and Noggin the Nog, the animated story that helped my imagination take flight as a child and was told with such conviction and affection by Oliver Postgate with the beautiful drawings of Peter Firmin. Anyway it was priced at 5p, such a small amount that it wasn't going to hurt me or anyone else.
I kept it for no reason other than I'm a hoarder, and like small things of no value. I used to carry it round like a good luck charm when my luck was turning decidedly against me. It was my talisman, my protection against evil. My cut-price protector., my juju, periapt, idol, totem.
I'd look at it absently from time to time. hold it in my hand, feel it's weight; regard the lonely sad expression. It fitted my demeanour perfectly.
I took a photo of the little king. I asked my father, who was in his late seventies, to hold him in his outstretched palm.
It was a lot later when I'd decided to form a band with my friends that the little man crept back into my thoughts. We needed a name and a logo. He became both.
I named him the King of Despair...with that sad distant look in his eyes, how could it be otherwise?I have a connection to the slightly morose and melancholy, you'd just have to listen to the lyrics of my songs to understand that.
Anyway the little king found a new elevated status as the face of the band.
We recorded the album between 2006 and 2008 with producer Richard Jackson. Richard is a very cool modest man with an impressive CV.
I don't remember the sessions all that well. By 2007 I had split with my partner of 14 years and was as lost as a man could be. The only thing that was functioning correctly was my ability to write songs. In fact the misery seemed to actually sharpen my ability, and with words especially.
The 12 songs reflect that passing phase. I remember one night Richard broke the producer's chair he was sitting in, to much amusement. I can still see the startled and bemused look on his face as it swivelled one last time before disintegrating. Another thing I remember is struggling valiantly with a tortuous piano part I put on one song. Apart from that I only recall distant fragments, almost like a dream that wandered off into the wilderness, never to return.
David Godwin, played the lead guitar parts and sang high harmony, I did rhythm and lead vocals. Darren did some pumping bass and Huw played percussion and drums. As I'm a lousy piano player we brought in another friend Gareth to play piano and organ.
Huw rang me to say we ought to release the album on-line. We didn't have a title so he asked me what I thought it should be. The first word that popped into my vacant mind was 'harpoon'. We went with that.
In 1993 as an art student I went to Paris. Whilst there I started making a video and filming stuff. A Chinese woman passed my camera and looked into it momentarily. Somehow her look startled me and I kept returning to it. I made a video where the whole thing repeated over and over...she'd walk past glance in, over and over. There was something in her look, something mystical, strange, far off. It was worth repeating and re-assessing.
So the cover picture was inspired by that video I made. A simple monoprint. a kind of Chinese Mona Lisa.
After a few months I forgot all about the project. The band split up and I formed another. I dried out and got my shit together, sort of.
Recently I was looking back over things and rediscovered the album, I'd by then totally forgotten about. I remembered some of the songs but not all of them.
I realised we'd invested a lot of time into the project and then let go of it so casually. I've never been the best promoter of my own art. I don't have any business acumen. I'm a complete failure when it comes to money. In lots of respects I'm as tiny and insignificant as the little ceramic king, but like that tiny man, I sometimes demand to be heard.....and this is one of those times